SimplyCharice's blog

58 more days until election and a life outside of politics. 

never have i ever felt so dedicated to a job.  i believe 100% in our candidates and i am excited about the work that i am doing.

the plan is to wrap this up.  take sometime and travel to the west indies and europe. start school in 2007.  graduate in 2009 and begin taking over the world.  i am happy to have a plan again...especially since it is one that i truly stand behind.  a plan that is all my own.

wo0t for life!

congrats Peeka.  i love you mamaz

he is single, 15 years my senior, a successful attorney, handsome and shares several of my political views.  everything seems to make him right for me...however the 15 years older than me thing scares the crap out of me. 

i am still trying to go to grad school and find out exactly what i want to do with my life.  is it possible for someone who is everywhere to successfully be with someone so settled? so i need someone who can relate to me now?

oy

What's the nerdiest thing about you?

  the sims...lol

When you were younger, were there any game shows that you religiously watched and wanted to be a contestant on?

Double Dare hands down!  I still want to be on that show. I remember going to Universial Studios when I was 10 and whooping ass in the fake one. 

my last relationship made me feel way too much.  it was like not being able to catch your breathe,but not really wanting to because then you know the excitement is fleeing. he was my bestfriend and worse enemy wrapped in one, which was perfectly disgusting.

i often feel as though our break-up was something we both saw from day one.  but, i still had the faint hope of us lasting forever. i wondered why this would not be the right time for us? but then i remembered how cynical i was about love.  how make believe i thought it was and i think God was trying to teach me otherwise. 

it was the first time i was so engulfed in life and having thoughts that were not completely selfish. in situations when i often thought about me it was clearly now we.  it would make my heart beat really fast and then just stop. it was horrible, but never had i felt so alive.

the break-up felt like one of the most impossible situations ever in my life.  it scared me from ever wanting to love someone so completely ever again.  it scared me to to think i would never love anyone so much again. it plan ole scared the shit out of me.

it mostly scared me into never wantingto give up on the wonders of love.

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, ALWAYS."----Mahatma Gandhi

okay not so much of a miracle, but a definite blessing. 

the universe has been testing me pretty hard since march and well i had some really bad lows.  i turned back to some bad habits, but quickly readjusted.  my fight to stay strong and come up on top has brought me to these recent days of joy.

my mom's heart attack really has gotten her on a kick to start putting herself first and well i have not seen her this happy in a longtime. she is eating better than she was before, she is active and she is no longer worried about appeasing others.

my surgery went off without a hitch.

my fight with my "baby" sister (39 year old) about how i am spoiled and that i am dad's favorite has seemed to make her make up with my dad.  she still hates me, but i can live with that.

i have fixed my heartache by cutting the one causing it completely out of my life.  i have "deleted" my connections to "the one" and have begun healing from the soul...not just the mind.

i am genuinely happy and feel blessed and know that i am not afraid to face life's challenges on my own.

If you could open any sort of restaurant, what would it be like?

hmmmm.  well it would be a resturant for grown-ups STRICTLY.  i hate being somewhere in hopes of a peaceful dinner (because it is costing me a shit load) and there is some annoying kid right behind me.  it would be really sexy and the spot for the often seen to go unseen

the search of a lifetime

i am young, but i have seen a lot of things that i wish i had not.  i felt a lot of emotions that should be saved for the wise. 

i am a 22 year old cynic who is afraid of love, trust and honesty.  now do not think that i am just escaping "happiness", but i am avoiding vunerablity.  when you have war wounds from being open its afraid to stop back on the battle field.  how do i make new life long friends when i am overly cautious about letting them see who i honestly am?  how do i love someone when i have a fortress built up that IS NOT coming down even if i take dynamite to it?

i am fighting everyday to find an innocence that i lost because i developed too fast.  an innocence gone because i went to a CATHOLIC school where kids started having sex at the age of 12.  an innocence that my parents fought to protect, but the world took anyway.

i know its gone, but i know there has to be a way to live life free of the burdens of the past...i just have to find it